my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
