Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
