Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
