That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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