READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
