He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
