My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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