there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
