it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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