Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
