Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
We named our party play list daddy issues
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
