I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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