We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
