There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
