I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
