Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
