One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
