Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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