It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
