someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
