i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
