your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
