Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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