ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
