The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I have grass duct taped all over my body
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
