don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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