so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
