My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Randomize