I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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