"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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