she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
