I have demons in me.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
