So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
