Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
