There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
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