Only a mothe r could love this liver
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
