If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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