do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
