We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
