Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
