i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
