It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Randomize
