I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
