guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
