just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
