I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
