Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
