So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
