Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
