like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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