yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
