you would pick up someone in the library
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
