I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
This baby is an asshole
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
