she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Sponge bath it is.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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