We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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