Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Randomize
